Threads of Therapy
Clyde wearing his therapist glasses.
He is so often a comfort to my heart.
When I first went to counseling, I was nineteen years old and a Freshman in college. I was dating a great guy (Scott, my now great husband) and I wanted so badly to marry him someday. I struggled with anxiety since I was a child, but for the first time I was beginning to see that my battles with obsessive thoughts were actually making me feel unworthy to marry. It was embarrassing to reach out for help from a stranger. I thought my faith and the people around me could alone help me with my insecurities. Little did I know, I was draining and exhausting those I loved. When the people who loved me suggested it was time for counseling it burned as deception. It wasn’t comfortable to hear, but it was said in love.
It’s tempting to believe all we have to do is pray the mental struggles away and God will certainly cure them. If our struggles don’t go away, then we need to pray harder and more often. Why use counseling (or medication, for that matter) when God clearly states and directly states that we are not to worry about tomorrow?
I think everyone feels nervous the first time they go to counseling. Going is an admission of weakness that takes courage and strength to get through. It requires sharing vulnerable details while opening up the possibility that these details will be analyzed.
Let’s be real here, life is hard. No one is untouched by the many ways sin and suffering influence our lives. Mental illness is but one manifestation of the fallen world. Not everyone is touched by mental illness in the same way, but everybody will face it at one time or another either in their own mind or in the mind of someone they know.
God uses all types of ways to reach us and counseling is just one way. Counseling sessions allow a patient to process and dissect themselves, often to a level that is deeply uncomfortable. Doing the work is a challenge, but that’s the point. It’s hard, messy, unorganized, and time consuming. Sometimes it even feels pointless. Some of the strategies a counselor may suggest might feel silly or juvenile at first, but over time the practice of such strategies can sink in, providing relief.
Counseling doesn’t always feel good initially, but that doesn’t make it unnecessary or bad. Our sinful hearts make asking for help in life a challenge. We need to trust that God will lead us through all aspects of life, including our mental health. Finding a counselor who can implement critical mental health strategies and/or medications can be the recipe for successful healing when needed.
We should not be ashamed of the emotional struggles we face because ultimately it is for our good and God’s glory. Now, do not hear me say (a phrase I learned in therapy) that these difficulties are in any way comfortable or easy. There is genuine suffering in this world, included in the realm of mental illness.
My goal in writing this is to encourage us when life becomes suffocating, like it may be right now as we live in isolation and societal turmoil. There is help. There are strategies. We aren’t alone. We are not the only people to have overwhelming thoughts and there are ways to find help. We shouldn’t feel ashamed and we certainly shouldn’t give up! God hears us and he loves us. He has provided many avenues for aid. We can face skepticism and fear because God will meet us on that dreaded soft couch that is so terribly hard to sit on and he will stay beside us for every uncomfortable moment if that is what we need. It’s worth it, trust me.
This is what the post therapy hangover looks like.
The smile that comes with the work of therapy! It’s worth it!
