On this Day…
I was reading through my journal the other day and found an entry from four years ago today. It’s always humbling to read words I wrote in the past. Only a few pages after this are the unorganized ideas I wrote down for the book that will be releasing here in a couple of weeks. I had just started medication a few months before this entry and was still sorting out so much. In reality, do we ever stop sorting things out?-Likely not, but that’s a really good thing. I read these words and see how God has answered my prayers and met my needs in amazing ways. At the time I wrote these words I was battling stomach issues because of my anxiety and I was working hard not to obsess over them. It was a season of trust and my journal was an outlet for me to write down what I knew to be true, even though I wasn’t feeling it at the time.
I think writing down prayers is helpful for everyone, but when OCD is in the picture journaling can be even more helpful. Treatment for OCD requires practice and proof. The brain needs to see that the worst does not happen when fears are faced and anxiety does pass. Writing down our conversations with God can be a relief at the moment, but can also serve as proof to our brains that God was with us. We can then see the progress in a concrete way. I read old entries accompanied by new knowledge about how God worked through my past fears. Even if I am still wrestling with a similar fear I can gain peace from reading my own words about what it was once like. I can easily forget the ways God has met me in hard things and journaling helps me remember God’s sanctifying presence in my life.
This entry also reminds me of how thankful I am for the family God has blessed me with. The recent season of having everyone home has been a challenging one, but reading my own words reminds me of how blessed I am to have the people I do surrounding me.
If you’ve never written a prayer journal you should try it! I don’t even do it every day, but it is a sweet record of the ways God has worked in my life. I’m always happy to read past entries and feel the completion of seasons gone by. Give it a try!
April 12, 2018
Dear Lord,
Thank you for the many blessings of this day. Thank you for still being Lord and being good, right, perfect, loving, and just. Forgive my fearful and sinful heart Lord as I try to be the best follower I can be. I pray my physical ailments would end and I could get on top of even more anxiety stuff. Thank you for how you have provided and continue to. Thank you for Scott and his diligent, hard-working spirit. Thank you for Ellis and his zest for life and others. Thank you for Daphne and her compassion. Thank you for Betsy and her joyful heart.
Amen.
